I was a kid when Oprah Winfrey first burst onto the scene in the 80's. Oprah went from local talk show host to national icon seemingly overnight. When Oprah speaks, people from all walks of life listen. Whatever Oprah does, people seem to watch with baited breath. From the early "tabloid" days of the show, to today's emphasis on helping women improve all aspects of their lives, Oprah rocks.

Even her critics and those that try to uncover dirt on her soon come to the conclusion that Oprah is the real deal. Celebrity biographer, Kitty Kelly, is quoted as saying that after months of exhaustive research, she and her team can find nothing bad on Oprah. Not one blemish. Not one once of dirt. As it turns out, nobody has anything bad to say about Oprah.

Of course, having seen the inner workings of her show first hand, I can say that Oprah is amazing. It's obvious that she has surrounded herself with a team of positive, action oriented men and women. She has an incredible team of people working hard on every aspect of the show. Great pains are taken to ensure the very best show possible.

I remember it like it was yesterday. My then girlfriend (now wife) and I were on summer break from college and a friend of ours had gotten tickets to Oprah. She invited us along when her original guests had begged off.

We didn't find out the subject of the show until the day we got their. As it turns out they were taping two shows that day: Fixing Broken Marriages through Better Communication; and Peace in the Middle East through Better Communication and Understanding. We were told that we would be seated for the first taping which happened to be the marriage show.

After seeing the show, I was convinced that there was a better chance for peace in the Middle East than fixing a bad marriage! At the time, my wife and I were just dating so we hadn't experienced the typical challenges and speed bumps that confront a marriage. I suppose we were a bit naive, but none the less, we both came out of the show thinking that there had to be a better way than what Oprah's hand picked marriage expert had proposed.

The technique the expert espoused was this: One spouse would express either her feelings or simply what she wanted from her husband. The husband would then repeat back what she said word for word. On paper this sounds fine until you see wife after wife dragging reluctant husband after reluctant husband up on stage.

Why so reluctant?

The whole idea of the technique was to create a dialogue or conversation between spouses in search of better connection. Yet, it was apparent that neither spouse was doing this. From my perspective, I felt bad for the guy. He wasn't looking for his two minutes of fame. He was just looking make his wife happy so he agreed to go on the show.

17 years later I now realize that most of us husbands do have to go the extra mile to communicate with our wives. By extra mile I mean listening and responding in meaningful ways to what our wives have to say. It's not enough to simply parrot back what they say. Ultimately, a heartfelt, honest conversation between man and wife is worth all the counseling sessions in the world combined.

Alan Bentley, God's gift to female/male communication, helps single women across the country unravel mysteries of the male mind helping improve their relationships with men they love. To discover how you can crack the guy code, go to http://www.cracktheguycode.com or email alan@cracktheguycode.com

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