A friend of mine named Otto once asked me what attracted me to my wife. He wanted the specific attractor factors that brought us together. I hadn't thought about it for awhile but the first thing I said was "her smile". There was something about her laugh, her vivaciousness, her spunky personality and the smile that went along with them that I found irresistible. I just couldn't help myself. There was just something attractive about her beyond her beauty.

She was my first love. She was the one. In spite of what Hugh Hefner might have you believe, attraction goes far beyond the physical for most men. I have interviewed men from across the country and have come to the conclusion that men are attracted to far more than what is typically portrayed in the media. I enjoyed being around her. I also liked the fact that she could take a joke as well as make one. Of course it didn't hurt that she thought my jokes were funny!

Otto's story of first love backs me up on this. He and his wife Dorothy palled around with a group of friends after school and eventually saw each other in a more romantic light. He laughed when he admitted to how delighted he was when he finally realized that his friend Dorothy was fun to be around. Up until that realization, he only liked playing with his guy friends. With Dorothy, he saw that girls could be fun!

I think it's interesting to note that he never mentioned the physical attraction he had for her. His attraction while no doubt physical was also emotional, intellectual and spiritual. And it's this bond that keeps them together forty years later.

So, forty years later, Dorothy and Otto are still laughing and having fun together.

They worry that others may not be having so much fun. They think couples are far to willing to chuck their vows when trouble strikes and throw their marriage away at the slightest sign of trouble. They lament the fact that men and women don't respect the skills that it takes to keep a relationship passionate, loving and connected.

Since falling in love over four decades ago, they now know that the attractor factors and skill sets that brought them together are not the same ones that keep them together. Real love sometimes takes work and always requires respect and understanding.

Alan Bentley, God's gift to female/male communication, helps single women across the country unravel mysteries of the male mind helping improve their relationships with men they love. To discover how you can crack the guy code, go to http://www.cracktheguycode.com or email alan@cracktheguycode.com

Tags: men, relationships, marriage, dating, love, sex, romance, passion, sexuality