Studies have shown that those who stick with it during hard times in their marriage usually find their reward. One research revealed that over 85% of unhappily married couples that stayed committed to the relationship found happier times ahead. In fact 60% of those stated that they were "very happy" five years down the road.
I'm sure you've heard the term that it takes two to either make or break a marriage. Well if you think this through you might see how either spouse has the power to build or destroy the relationship.
In all reality you are the only one in control of your relationships. You have the power to turn your relationship around or to destroy it. You can learn how to realize the power you hold, and influence your marriage for the better.
For instance, you have little or no control over the mood that your spouse is in when they come home at the end of the day. Yet you have total control over your mood and how you react to your spouse. You also have the ability to learn how to respond to your spouse in the most or least beneficial way. You can in fact learn your spouse so well that they will look forward to seeing you regardless of the day they had.
The point here is that even if you cannot control your spouse you do have tremendous influence. By learning to control your own mood and attitudes you can remove yourself from living in the reactive mode. Therefore, you can influence the atmosphere of your home and slowly guide your marriage towards harmony. The key is to act out what you want your marriage to be.
For example, if you want a more loving relationship, show more love. If you want your marriage to emanate mutual appreciation find ways to show appreciation. Change takes time so try this for a month see if you can notice some improvement.
You have the power to change your relationship, whether your spouse seems to want change or not. You have influence with the way you communicate, your attitude, the frequency and way you express affection, love or appreciation towards your spouse. They will only be able to resist for a short time. A happy and rewarding marriage begins with you.
Matt Perusse Founder of The Relationship Solutions Project Visit The Relationship Solutions Project
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