AN EXAMPLE OF FAMILY MEMBER CONFLICT
Here's what one client explained. I thank you for your suggestions on coping with difficult people. But what I've seen is that in dealing with difficult people at work it's simple as compared to family members. I've changed the way I am communicating with family members and they are being very stubborn trying to keeps everything the same.
CHANGING THE COMMUNICATION RULES WITH OTHERS
When I started setting limits, setting boundaries and speaking out about how I truly feel there was a backlash. As other family members have continued to try and stick their nose into my personal space I have been very strong to keep reminding them about my personal boundaries. However, a close family member has stopped talking to me altogether and cut off all communication.
IT IS NOT NEW IN DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
This response from other people is nothing new. This occurs when dealing with difficult people at work and personal experience. When you alter your communication patterns with someone, their first response is to keep working harder to keep the communication the same. When you still persist to change your communication, they often respond by cutting off their communication.
FAMILY SYSTEMS AND COPING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
Dealing with difficult people in family is far more complicated than dealing with difficult people at work. This is because family members know more about you often. There's years of dysfunctional communication been happening. When someone tries to alter the way they communicate, others often react out of all proportion. They show greater resistance to changing these communication patterns. Often becoming more negative or cutting off communication altogether.
WHAT CAN YOU DO WITH NO COMMUNICATION?
There are many responses you can have when a family member stops all communication when reacting to the changes you have made. But here's the most important thing you must remember. It is also the most vital point to remember in dealing with difficult people in any situation.
ANOTHER PERSON AND THEIR RESPONSIBILITY
Here it is. In the end other people must take responsibility. You can attempt to work through the issues with them. But ultimately, it's their decision whether or not they cut off all communication with you.
LET IT GO IN DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
You have to be aware that no matter how you attempt to handle the situation, sometimes family members decide to 'cut all ties' and no longer communicate with you. You need to recognize that in the end it is their decision to behave in this way. You have to actually respect their decision and let go in dealing with difficult people. Let go, give them the space they have demanded and get on with living your life.
MORE IDEAS ON DEALING WITH PEOPLE
In other articles we will consider further ways of dealing with people in your family system who have cut of communication with you. But stop feeling guilty about everything. Simply understand that in the end the decisions other adult family members make are their choices. Dealing with difficult people in your family system means recognizing, as you would in dealing with difficult people at work, that everyone makes their own choices about their own lives.
Dr Judy is an international expert and is amongst a handful of 'leading lights' whose advice is constantly sought on employee retention, stress and dealing with people. Are you dealing with a difficult person or people in your life? You can grab a free copy of my Guide on Dealing with Difficult People at this link now http://www.dealingwithdifficultpeople.com