The effort should be mutual, so that you share in the benefits together, and if worse comes to worst, you can pick up the pieces and rebuild the relationship back to the way it used to be.
Great couples are great friends, as many happy marriages can attest to. You see fulfilled couples laughing with each other, and cracking jokes with carefree abandon, knowing full well that the other is more than willing to take it, much like friends do.
If your marriage started out as a solid friendship, then you have your work accomplished for you - you just have to maintain the spark. If the relationship is too tight on intimacy without having the laid back mood of friendship, try to relax. Remember, you're in this together; humor can ease a lot of the anxieties and mishaps which your relationship encounters along the way.
Determine each other's needs and fulfill them as best as you can. Marriage is a two-way street: you have to be able to give and take with love. Be sensitive to your partner's needs, especially the immediate ones.
If she's having a bad day and showing it, give her a reassuring shoulder and offer to take on some of the chores for her so she could relax. If she needs a shoulder to cry on, give her just that.
Avoid trying to solve her problems by coming up with quick fix solutions. She just needs someone to vent out her frustrations to so she could pick herself up on her feet. As soon as she's okay, treat her out to dinner or give her a massage; she'll surely appreciate the effort you spent in going out of your way just to please her.
Spice things up. Even though your marriage has evolved into something of a deeper nature, don't pass up the opportunity to try something new in your relationship. If you've tried out all avenues of intimacy which are within the limits of convention, try something out of the box.
For example, before getting intimate with your partner, suggest a different warm up of sorts, like watching an adult movie together. If your significant other is a bit hesitant about the idea, show her how adult movies can spice up your intimate moments by hinting on new ways of exploring your sensual side.
While watching adult movies together before getting intimate may be a quirky experience for some couples, for most, it's a great way to spice up a relationship, by making intimate moments more adventurous.
Finally, responsibility is a must-have in all healthy relationships. Although you are united as a single entity, you still have goals which are mutual and individual, and you have to nurture them both.
Try to accomplish your personal and mutual goals one step at a time, celebrating every success with each other. Marriage is a personal investment; if you give your all into making it work, you'll both reap the benefits of a fulfilled and lasting relationship.
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